How I healed my emotional wounds
I'm so passionate about helping people to heal from their emotional wounds, because I understand first hand what a difference it can make to how you feel on the inside. It can be very hard to move your life in the direction of your purpose if every day you are working against an emotional wound that makes you feel hurt, vulnerable, unsafe or sad. Even if you are taking steps forward it can feel so exhausting because you are carrying your wounds with you like a 10 kilo sack of potatoes! I am sharing my story in hope that it gives people permission to get support for their own healing.
Sometimes I think that we have too much focus on goals and achievement and not enough on healing. Its important to change the story that we carry in our mind and body before trying to just change the outward stuff. For example, we might think we will feel happier if we change our career or achieve our fitness goal, but if we don't heal our wounds we will still feel the same emotionally even if we look better or enjoy our job more.
I thought I needed to keep other people happy in order to stay safe.
This is how I felt up until about 27 years old, I was edging towards my true purpose but I lacked self belief. I had 2 degrees and a professional job but inside I was a scared 8 year old girl. I was carrying the wounds of physical and emotional trauma I experienced as a child, living with a step father that wished I didn't exist. I was still looking for the approval of others, and I would be terrified any time a manager gave me negative feedback. I had a certain pattern imprinted on me, that I thought I needed to keep other people happy in order to stay safe.
I was focused on my goals not on myself.
I wanted to change my career, I wanted to start a centre for healing and wellness. I thought about it all the time, I kept journals of ideas and articles and I even started studying Naturopathy and Yoga. But I still felt stuck and scared to move. I felt strong, but I also felt so weak. Progress was slow and tiring because when my emotional wounds were triggered I felt small and full of doubt. Things weren't working because I was focused on my goals not on myself.
My body was not doing very well, I couldn't hold on to pee, I had numbness in one leg and I wasn't sleeping. I couldn't quite explain, but I felt so uncomfortable, my body felt uncomfortable sitting, walking and exercising. I got some help from a Physio and after regular treatment without the change he was expecting he referred me to a Craniosacral Therapist at his Moranbah clinic politely suggesting that I might need some support with healing emotional trauma from my body.
So I had to drive an hour to receive treatments in Moranbah, but it was well worth it. Talk based therapy never appealed to me, but this was something totally different. The Therapist explained to me about how our trauma and emotions can stay imprinted in our tissues, these patterns are linked to the emotions relating to the trauma. It was almost like my whole body sighed with relief that someone understood how I felt inside and how to help me. When I started to receive Craniosacral Therapy treatments things really started to shift for me.
he found an area below my right rib where I was punched and winded when I was about 8
The therapist was drawn to the areas I was physically hurt as a child even though I hadn't told him about it, like he could sense something there. For example, he found an area below my right rib where I was punched and winded when I was about 8. I thought he must have been very intuitive, but he explained that he could feel all of my surrounding connective tissue pulling towards this area and also the stored energy in the tissues. My arm started to move on its own and he reassured me that was just because the connective tissue in my body was unwinding tension, its totally normal because all of the connective tissue in the body is connected. I started to cry, but it felt good like I had let something out of a deep part of my soul. The treatments I received changed my life, and I truly believe with out this help, I wouldn't be where I am today leaving out my dream full of gratitude.
Its like the emotion becomes imprinted onto the tissues. And after a while, you feel stuck in that pattern
The more I started to learn about Craniosacral Therapy the more it made sense to me. Emotions are not just in the mind, they are in the body. When we feel something the whole body responds, our biochemistry, our immune system and our muscles and connective tissue. When certain emotions stay for a long time because of unresolved trauma we hold onto certain tension patterns in our body for a long time. When we remember what happened to us, the brain keeps sending out the same messages to the body and so you hold tension in your body in a particular pattern. Its like the emotion becomes imprinted onto the tissues. And after a while, you feel stuck in that pattern - your mind has your fit into that pattern, your muscles have fit into that pattern, your connective tissue has fit into that pattern, your distribution of energy has fit into that pattern, and that may in itself lead to problems with the body like I was experiencing or can even lead to illness if unaddressed.
Craniosacral therapy works to unwind these tension patterns and helps the body to change the mind body patterning of trauma. I decided to study Craniosacral therapy myself, because I wanted to help others to heal from their wounds. I have been working with adults for the last 4 years. I recently completed 2 Levels of Craniosacral Therapy for Children, so that I can also help children early on heal and to thrive.
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