Can I just be me?
I have been stumbling across the same message over and over. Not stumbling, guided, even slapped over the head with it and deep down searching to hear it. It is the message to accept my true nature, to except my gifts and my limitations…especially my limitations. If we can’t except our limitations we continue to punish ourselves for not living up to ideals that don’t align with who we are. If we do this, we are blind to our gifts, or at least we can’t enjoy them. If we are punishing ourselves, or working hard to try and hide or ignore our limitations – to mask them and pretend they are not there and we are wasting energy that could be spent better. Energy that could be spent humbly doing the best we can with the precious gifts that we actually have.
I feel success isn't something that should be measured externally against some preconceived idea of how we should be. Self acceptance unleashes massive amounts of energy that can be used productively towards good rather thanking wasted on comparison and self criticism.
For example, I am always interested in lots of things somewhat of a jack of all trades. But I used to constantly wrestle with the idea of that I should really pick one thing and aim to be the best at it. Somehow, I started to think that’s what I should do. But, then I realised It’s just not ‘me’ to be that way. I like to learn about lots of things at once, picking up threads here and there that make my heart skip a beat and weaving them into something whole. It’s like I am weaving my whole heart together, my whole nature together and I feel alive. I feel on fire. This is me.
I feel like I am standing on the brink of letting go of the rules and conditioning I was given by schools and employers…about how you should focus on one thing so you can be the best. So you can compete. Can’t I create a life where I am true to my nature? Cant the universe keep giving me more of what I’m good at, more opportunities to be who I am in the depths of my soul. Can’t I keep finding these miracle people that love to do the stuff I’m not good at and making a killer team together? I feel a block somewhere telling me its wrong, you should work on yourself so you don’t have to rely on other people. But isn’t it the most human thing to work together. Isn’t that like creating our own ecosystem where everything is in harmony and balance because of difference, because of uniqueness?